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Sunday, September 25, 2005

Is Love Overrated?

I have had this question on my mind for, well, the longest time actually. I just wanted to know if this thing we call 'love' is overrated. And if it is, or isn't, well, I'd like to know who the hell is rating it. What's the benchmark, and that sort of thing. Why do I bring this up now? I don't know, but in my life I seem to bring about a rather glorious, yet somehow terrible and ignominios death to most 'happy' relationships that I'm in. Now mind you, this doesn't happen with friends. It's more the case with people I am intimate with. And why does this happen? I've thought of a couple of reasons, namely, it could be that I take them for granted and/or I suddenly start imposing on them some kind of sense of 'right' according to me. Or maybe it's because I'm Malayalee and being 99% literate hasn't really gotten me anywhere. Hmm...

But think about it, who cares if I'm 99% literate? Just kidding. I mean, who cares what love is. Perhaps it's because I've been trying too hard to try and make things work out...and in a long term sort of way, to boot. So I'm putting pressure on the 'other' person? Is that it? Traditional, little Mallu boy opts for arranged marriage...so what else is new. But what of me? What do I make of all of this? And where does my thinking and my system of values/beliefs fit into all of this? Is it unimportant? Is it just excess baggage that I keep dragging around...and which will one day drag me down to the "nether realms of where Satan is a denizen"? Or am I just confusing it all in my head? Man, what I wouldn't give for a look inside of the old noggin. Arrey Wah! What is this nonsense, I say!


---------------The Next Day---------------

At peace now. It all makes sense. Stop telling yourself what you want to happen and focus on what is really happening. Detachment phase one in progress. Insights, particularly powerful ones, come to you in the most awkward of places, at the unholiest of moments. At peace indeed. Exhale slowly...........................
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