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Monday, September 12, 2005

Who are we to those around us?

I've often wondered the kind of impact that my life has/has had/will have on people around me. Sure, there are those people that you see around forever, but they're the person that you wave at everyday without saying anything. In that case I don't imagine that the impact is very much. It's probably negligible, in fact. But what about those who you think are close to you? What would happen to them if you weren't around one fine day?

Take your parents, first up. It's simple to imagine that they'd miss you and be miserable about the loss of a child. It's natural. No matter how much a pair of a species can procreate, loss of young ones is a most disheartening experience. I guess the closest that people who haven't had the opportunity to experience this can come is if they lost something of great value to them all of a sudden; for some that could be a pet, for others, a really expensive watch or whatever. So, parents will grieve. That's a given, so to speak.

Now for friends, which is like including the rest of the world. But think about it, how much would these guys miss you? And, while you're alive, what kind of relationship do you think you have with these friends, as opposed to how things really are, and how they perceive things to be? I guess my biggest dilemma stems from the fact that being a friend requires me to be more in certain cases. And, never one to shy from a task, especially from a person in need, I find that I get a little too embroiled in certain situations. But, there is a line in here somewhere. I mean, one of the most famous lines that I've come across is, "I think you're a good friend." Several variations of this phrase exist, of course, and they can be as mild as, "I like hanging out with you," to more heartfelt adaptations such as, "I need you in my life," and "I can't ever lose you." But what does it mean?

There are times in my life when being a person that 'couldn't ever be lost to another,' I found that I played the role of the weeping wall. In times of difficulty, I tended to be a good listener. Except, it seemed to be hard to try and say anything at the time because you can't speak if you're listening. It was a little like people showing up at your door with their lives in shambles. They don't care what you were doing or what was happening with you. The moment you open the door it's blah blah blah, yadda yadda...and when they're done, they leave. Oh, before they leave they give you the whole, "I don't know what I would've done without you" spiel...then they thank you...and finally they leave. I think everyone needs people to listen to. It's just that, at times I find that people should remember that they need to do some of the listening. There are no Designated Listeners out there...you may say, "Well, what about shrinks?" And I say that kind of listening is good...but it can happen everyday for free, right? Why pay this guy money to listen to you. How good is it to try and pay someone to be a friend? Would that get you what you want? And what is it that you're looking for? If I give you everything I have will you be happy? Or do you want me to give up my 'self', and everything that I stand for?

On the other hand, there are those who you seem to connect with. Not much needs to be said, and not much is, often. But, there's something there. And as you go along, you find that there's a lot more there, and you seem to be looking in a mirror almost. And it makes you wonder, why can't it be like this with everybody?

So, here's to good friends. And here's to being good friends without following any social conventions or whatever. True friendship comes from the heart. Cheers!
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