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Monday, September 12, 2005

Wierd News...Wierder Readers?

Well, just when I thought that Indian newspapers were to be looked up to, compared to the 'free press' in the US, which, during my time there I decided was a big pile of shit, I find myself being proved wrong. After coming back to Bangalore last year, I found that the face of Indian news had become a bit, how do I say, 'Western'-ized...but it seemed to be in a way in which we only managed to retain all the nonsense. I mean, I like a newspaper with straight facts, a few cartoons, and maybe a crossword or two. That's all I need. I don't need to read about "Bollywood" gossip and who's doing who and for how long.

Now, there's this thing that the Times of India does on Saturday, and there's a lot of little articles about relationships and the perfect man/woman crap. And then, I came across this little beauty in the paper. I know that at first I read it and I was confused as to why it would be in the paper. And then, I remember smiling and thinking, "How far will these gyus go?" Here it is. Does any of this make you a little sick? Or is this one of those 'how far/low can you go' type things?

Ms Demeanour

Hi, I am all of 22 years old and in a relationship with a guy. Me and my boyfriend have often exchanged pecks on the lips but we want to try other forms of kissing since, pecking is...frankly boring. Can you help us? -DY

Help you? Of course yes dahling, that is what we are here for. So you are confused when it comes to the kissing game? Well, fret no more, for we give you a list of exciting kisses that are sure to send the temperature soaring.

French Kiss: This is the simplest of the lot. First, begin with a gentle exploration of each other's lips and then move in for the kill.

Chocolate Kiss: Just take a bite of a chocolate bar (see if you can find something with caramel in it) and French Kiss as you would. Very silky smooth type of kiss, and can end up very messy!

Trade-off Kiss: One of you gets a cinnamon candy and the other a mint. While French kissing, switch them from time to time. Great fun.

Moving Kiss: Make sure a bed or couch or chair is behind your partner and when French kissing gently push your partner onto the chair or whatever is behind them. Very good for serious couple or just beginners.

Nip Kiss: This type of kiss has to be done carefully, but when done correctly can create a wonderful effect on your partner. While kissing, gently bite their lip, but don't hurt your partner.

Cordial Kiss: Take a sip of your favorite drink, and then when your lips meet pour the drink in your partner's mouth.

Butterfly Kiss: Put your eye really close to you partner's cheek and flutter your lashes upon their skin.
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