It began with the hunt for helium balloons, not more than 10 minutes after 'dropping the acid'. We went down to Longs Drugs near Kukui Towers, and on the way down we noticed the acid was beginning to take effect. How? The "sportsmode" test, as I like to call it, which involves moving of the hand in front of your face from right to left. If you notice it doing one of those frame-by-frame things, then, you're feeling the effects...the analogy comes from the sportsmode on handycams and stuff. Annnyway, so walk into Longs and we ask the lady behind the check-out counter for a couple of balloons. Now, in my head it was perfectly normal, or seemed to be, because I only wanted to get a couple of balloons and go back home and be silly. The man who began assisting the lady, and I still don't understand why, started asking about the occasion. So, to humor him, we said it was a birthday...hoping that would get us the balloons faster and less painfully. However, and much to my amazement, he turned around and asked, "How old is the person?" I was about to come out and be like WTF!!! But Handa, to the rescue as usual, told me to go wait outside, lest I become a 'Malayalee on a leash'! Anyway, he managed to acquire the balloons with far less trouble than me, and we soon found ourselves back at Handa's place waking up Ryan, his roommate, with our squeaky, just-took-a-hit-of-helium voices.
Then all of a sudden, I was watching Platoon, and the song that plays at the closing credits drove me mad! I was on the verge of tears, and I felt all the pain that I had ever known just rush forth through every sinew...and quite frankly, I was on the verge of not being able to handle myself. Oh, and Mike wasn't helping with the whole thing my giving me some Dutch currency to look at. That stuff looks trippy even when you're sober, so, it looked simply insane to me.
A few hours passed, and more visions came and went. I remember, then, that I was laying on the floor in Handa's room, and he was on the bed. All of a sudden, I heard him call my name, and I responded with a, "Ya?" But he called my name again, this time with more feeling...the kind of feeling where you're about to beat the hell out of someone, or so it seemed. And again I responded. The next thing I new was that he'd jumped of his bed, and in one swift motion was standing over me with a raised fist ready to strike...and he was shouting my name at me. "Arrey," I thought to myself, "Say it don't spray it." No no, for a second my entire life flashed before my eyes. And why did he do this? Well, apparently he couldn't hear me, and he thought that I had either passed out or passed away. But why the raised fist, eh? I mean, what would you do if you'd just punched someone in an attempt to get a response from them, and then find out that they're dead? Interesting... And then we both began looking out of the window, and surprisingly enough we both saw the moon turn into a human orifice and suck/expel the clouds that were passing by that spot. The most intense thing about this is the fact the image appeared to both Handa and me, which is beyond a rarity given differing mental states and the different reactions that we had to the acid.
But this in only part of the purpose of this post. The other thing I wanted to do was to post the front and back images of the writing that I had attempted to do while on acid. Now, there's nothing great there at all. In fact, it's barely legible. But it was only an attept to capture some of the thoughts that occurred at that time, because I'm never quite sure I'll have them again.
Here's the front.
And now for the back...or "backside" as people in India would say. I've even signed and dated it...he he he.
Now, about some of the stuff on there, and I know some of it seems a bit psycho, or wannabe-the-head-of-my-own-cult type stuff...but it was what I was feeling at that moment. It was like you could look at something, or touch something, and instantly you became a part of that thing...examining it's every atom and molecule, sharing its life force, and everything just feeling that much nicer than usual. I don't know, but things just seemed to make so much more sense at that time. Wow, talk about having 20/20 vision in terms of life? Well, the funny thing is, I'm sure people who looked at us and wondered what the hell we were doing in their country probably considered calling the police because of the 20/20 things we were doing, believing, all the while, that the world made perfect sense. Isn't that always the problem? There was a point of time when I wanted to try everything on the 'illegal' list, except rape, kill, extort, mutilate for reasons other than aesthetics, etc. But now, I know what I've done, and what those things have been like. Now is the time when I should learn to be more comfortable with my life at the moment, and come to terms with things overall. Sounds like what my friend Lavi was talking about when commenting about my random thoughts yesterday. It was awfully sound advice to let things be man. And I think the trick to this whole 'being' thing is to desensitize your mind to the hustle and bustle of mental activity, and focus on doing the simple things right...like not chewing with your mouth full, or respecting your elders, or even just picking up after yourself and making sure you don't litter. Constantly missing the millions of little things that we should be doing in the best interests of life and the living by staring at a billion more inconsequential things that we believe really matter. Ouch.
Well, to wrap up this trip, on a positive note if possible, it was well worth the experience. Why so? Because I think it allowed me to experience something that I probably never would have otherwise. I mean, it's not like I'm trying to promote the use/consumption of acid. In fact, I admire people who can go through life without even being tempted to do something like smoke a cigarette or have a drink. Kudos to them. And I'm not even going to try and say, "What to do, I am like this only," or anything of that sort. What I will say is that, I truly believe that it is possible (or maybe this is how it really does happen) to attempt to reach/approach a sense of enlightenment, your body probably goes through the same sort of chemical reactions without any external assistance. I think the body can be trained to create a similar effect. That's being 'high' on life for you. He he he. Now, the hard part is to steer clear of all these things and head straight for enlightenment before you learn to speak. No other way out, really. Or is there? Or does it even matter? I mean, isn't euphoria (the feeling, not the band) simply a case of a large dose of serotonin? I mean, what about the whole 'chemistry' between two people idea? We've known about this for ages. But the pages that you see were from a time, not all that long ago, and there's no knowing what next...just the different walls with different writing on them as you go from one station to the next along the subway of life.