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Friday, November 11, 2005

Past Psychotic Episodes...some more

Well, here's some more stuff that I wrote back in Kodai. Again, it may come across as a bit depressive...but it was a state of mind. So, here are a couple more that are, well, attempts as seeming wise. He he he. Why try, when you can save yourself the trouble of looking like an idiot later, eh? Oh well, it was written, so I thought I'd share...

The world is not a bad place,
The way you see it is.
Life is not all that sad,
The way you live it is.

Memories of days gone by; sad but true.
Visions of days to come; their truth is my sadness.

We tell, but who hears.
We laugh, but who sees.
We die, but who cares.
And who is it that I should hear, see and care for?

The hissing waves
Manifest the power of nature.
And I stand and watch her,
As my world falls apart.

The strong wind
Blows fierce as dragon's fire.
And I feel the desire
Burn up inside of me.

The ageless tide
Rolls in so casually.
And it tells me
That we too must die out.

What are words, but messengers
Of doom in a world of grief.
What are smiles, but carriers
Of news, of fate and evil to come.
What are days, but milestones
That say you get older and are ready to die.
What is time, but a passage
From the definite to a Utopia.
What are lives, but processes
Of breathing that will one day cease.
What are dreams, but premonitions
Of days gone by and an age to come.
Who are we, but instruments
Of a greater force that kills us in return.
And so we are, like we were
To live one day, and go away.

The body you said you saw was to be your own.
How blind I was, not to discern.
But somehow they say life still goes on.
and you come with me till my end.

And forever I'll think of you and my friend
Because together we three will meet in the end
I to you and I to him, but now you two must help me win,
This battle of likfe that I must now face
For if I lose let me die in grace.

It is sad that you put everything into this world: your love, your time, your energy, your life. And all you get is a big "fuck you." No prize, no reward. Just some collection of experiences and a bloody death warrant the moment you're born.

Yeah, so that's the second installment of that "old bag", so to speak. Funny thing is, I find that now that I'm reading all this stuff that I wrote years ago, I'm trying to mentally revisit that time in my life. I don't know why, but it seems to be a severe bout of nostalgia! I picked up Dre's "The Chronicle"...I've been listening to that "Lil Ghetto Boy" song over and over again...I picked up a pair of humongous head phones that I carry around with me in a very juxtaposed way, trying to mix casual office wear with being a DJ-wannabe...well, been smoking up for damn sure...but this time around all of it is more an attempt to analyze the signs of being, or going through some of things again. I guess in our lives, we tend to find ourselves at the crossroads more than once or twice, eh? Oh well.
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