Well, I have Avi to thank for "yet another" one. This isn't the first time he's done something like this, but I really appreciate the fact that he breaks it down in a very methodical, straightforward manner. Also, his style is very enjoyable and easy to read, so that adds to the whole 'reader' experience. Not to mention the 'clever' use of some truly awesome and always apt images, which provides a nice, well-rounded to the piece.
This particular post, as Avi mentioned, was something that he had written in May last year, and apparently 'someone' needed reminding. Hmm... But more importantly I thought it was brilliant, and it made a lot of sense. Now, the fact of the matter remains, that at the end of the day, it's still up to the individual to decide. And, it is important to remember that the individual's decision is based on her/his experiences/background/upbringing/etc. So, while he does mention "Ze Germans" a la Snatch fashion, I do believe les Francais ne razent pas la bas, aussi. More importantly, I think it comes down to things like "how low will you go." Just kidding...sorry, it's one of those things that just flew out my fingers and I had to leave it in there. No, it comes down to how far you're willing to go to please the person you're with. Now, the tricky thing with saying 'the person you're with' is that it attempts to include both partners/spouses and lovers...but unless specified, a reader is quite likely to go with the one or the other. Why specify? Well, in 'Western countries' where things are more 'liberal', it seems that people are more willing to 'please' their partner/spouse/lover than in a more conservative society like India...where even glancing at the cover of The Kamasutra as you walk by the aisle will elicit a "chee" or a "thu" from at least one person around. If you're confused at this point, then you obviously didn't visit the link at the beginning of this paragraph.
But like I was saying, in more liberal societies people are more willing to try and understand each others' needs, and most importantly, to communicate openly in order to do this. Yup, communication once again. Why focus on this, albeit briefly? Because, and I have had, shall we say, some experience with this, those from more 'conservative' societies do not bring things like this up...not even with their spouses! Not that it's strange or anything, but sex, and foreplay, by association, are still very taboo topics in the average Indian household. I'd have to be reborn at least twice more to be able to talk to my parents about 'going down' on somebody, and the pros and cons. Well, the scary thing is, they might offer you advice based on things that they've done...at which point you feel like you're not looking at your parents, but some freakshow of which you're a result! But this is exactly what I'm talking about. I mean, coming from a rather conservative household where most of the communication happened because someone had had enough and felt the urge to complain, I too would rather die than have my parents tell me about anything to do with 'activities behind closed bedroom doors'. But this is something we need to get over, not because we're encouraging everyone in the world to have wild, bedpost-rocking sex, but because we'll only know what others want if we're willing to ask and then show that we're willing to listen, no matter what.
So, as an 'aside' to the original post, I'd just like to ask this blog's visitors what they think. How important is it to give of yourself, in a relationship, to ensure your partner's/lover's/spouse's happiness? You know, like 'how far would you go'? Do you draw the line at kissing briefly before proceeding to 'the act'? Or do you use a clothespin on your nose and pray that you don't gag in the name of all that's holy? What? Sorry, didn't see that one coming. Or do you invest in some 'leather equipment', some 'toys', and quite possibly a swing? How far would you go? And why?
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