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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Of dubious neglect...

It's been a good 16 days since my last post on the blog...and it wasn't even my own thing either. Well, suffice it to say that there are things, circumstances to be precise, that have kept me away from my blogging duties.

The first circumstance is unemployment. I left my job as Assistant Manager - Special Projects at Next Link Pvt. Ltd. on the 17th of June, 2006. Since then, I realized that I'd been "going to work" so much that I didn't know what it was like to sit back and do nothing. As it turns out, I didn't even bathe for the first two days after I left my job because it just felt so good to not do anything! And I know that a malodorous Malayalee around the house is much along the lines of a dead rat in your airconditioning duct, but they have deodorant for that...he he he...deodorant for the Malayalee, that is.

The second circumstance has been relocation...potential relocation, I mean. Until now I was living with my aunt here in Bangalore, and now she is leaving to go to the US permanently. I think that's an awesome move because that would mean she could spend her time with her children and grandchildren...rather than taking care of house guests who also happen to be related, as in the case of moi. Well, almost a permanent house guest, and borderline parasite/leech, so I was glad to hear that the time has finally come. She's lived alone for the past nine years, with only the dogs to keep her company until a couple of months ago. Well, her daughter, my cousin sister, arrived in Bangalore on the 22nd to help my aunt pack and get rid of things that were not needed. Prior to this, and this kept me occupied for a night and a day, I decided to do my fair share of packing up by getting all that I could to fit into my one big bag and assorted cardboard boxes, and getting rid of the rest of whatever it is that I own. That was a tiring exercise mind you, but not as tiring as actually having to part with objects that you've held close to your a pair of Air Jordan shorts, black and green in color, that I bought way back in 9th grade. Anyway, I'm glad that I did that, and as emotional as the experience may have been, it was something I was happy to go through.

The third and final circumstance is the melee of madness that I call a mind. The funny thing about this is, in the last couple of months, and a rather tumultuous months they have been, I finally seem to be achieving a placid state of mind. I've been thinking of doing some meditating or some tai-chi for the longest time because I've identified that my head was doing hula hoops around my life. Yet, and without any assistance, I seem to be achieving this tranquility by a means I have yet to identify. No no, it's not that I've been drowning my sorrows in drink or rendering them breathless with copious amounts of "green...if you know what I mean" or anything...although one of those statements may be true ;-) . On the contrary, I think this time off, or between jobs, has been a great time to sit down and evaluate what I really want out of life. Do I want to renounce this ungrateful world and live the rest of my days as an ascetic? Do I want to go all out in my quest for "cash money" and eventually die with platinum and diamonds bling blinging in my mouth? Or do I want to just be? At the moment, I think I'm hovering around that last option, and it's beginning to finally make some sense to me.

So, I've been looking for jobs, and it may require me to move out of Bangalore, and overall everything seems to be in a state of flux. But I'm rather enjoying it at the moment. It seems as though these phases keep coming up in my life when there's about to be a major shift around the corner. And I've had friends and family help me out and give me sound advice whenever something like this has happened before. I've appreciated each and everyone of these people for giving me their time in an effort to help me out. I'm quite sure I could never have come this far if it were not for these "other" people. Thank you! It's just that at this point in my life, I seem to be in the driving seat of a vehicle that has trouble deciding whether or not it should have wings to fly or wheels to roll. Maybe an amphibious vehicle will do? Who knows?

En fin, I would like to say thanks to everyone who's been concerned about my absence from blogging for a while..or just plain wondering about where I've been and what I've been up to. I don't think it will continue for much longer, and I've got some ideas of stuff that I will blog about in the near future. But at the moment, it's going to take me a little time to let everything come to a relative stand still, and for the dust to settle. Once that happens, I'll be ready, and you'll know. In the meantime, remember to take care of yourselves people...really.
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