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Sunday, September 09, 2007

A Weekend to Repose

A weekend in Bangalore. Just taking some time out. Taking some time to be by myself. Taking it easy. Taking taking any old thing as easily as I've let myself take things of late. But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. This is what I look like.

Numb...to the ennui of existenceYes, on the left. Not too proud of it, but I have to say that it was one of my lighter moments. So, here was some time to get away and be doing what I like to do every now and again. Something that I have come to deal with in terms of making it a comfortable part time habit. Something that I have often looked to as a source of inspiration. Now, having said that, I don't want anyone to think that I mean that I am totally dependent, or anything along those lines. No. I have to say, in my defense should it ever come to that, that I share a comfortable relationship with it, and I know that out of the sheer power of realization it will become necessary to not continue on together. Allow me to introduce you to the latest bombshell on the block!

Romancing the plantNow that's what I'm talking about. It's a good old friend, a plant nonetheless, that I've had the opportunity of becoming acquainted with in recent years. For those of you who know me better, I'm sure you'll disagree. ;-)

Nothing to it, really. I suppose I think of myself as having to have a way of looking within myself and to be comfortable with that entire experience. In my limited experience, this is the way that I have learned to get there quick. Once I make the time to explore more spiritual means, this little fling will slowly die out...another wild fantasy comes to a dissonant halt.

And that's what it's been like for the most part. Don't get me wrong, though. I did manage to get some amount of work done. But, there's still a lot more that I need to do and I've just got to put my head down and do it. And that was what this felt like. I had to change something about myself really quickly, and this is what had to be done. It's like slipping into new costume, except that it's probably not new at all. No, it's probably just the old one laundered and brought back to you several shades paler. And then, when people start telling you that you don't seem to be your usual self, you start to wonder what they're talking about. But it won't matter what they say, and it matters least what you do. You just have to get used to it, or try hiding it under a jacket or shawl so that you present a better-supported facade. Quite possibly, and I shudder at the thought, a facade with a twist. Yes. The quintessential twist.

Feeling really happy. But why that smile?So that was me. Sorry, that is me. That's me after a combining of the two key ingredients you saw in the previous picture. "Tee hee hee," I seem to be saying. Well, why not. Tee hee hee it is! Oh, and don't forget the t-shirt. I hate to do this self-publicizing so often, but it says "Mental Inside" on my t-shirt, in the same way as the Intel logo. I don't know about you, but I just get such a kick out of that...every single time! Anyway, moving away from that for just a second, I'd like to point out that I was up at 7:15 am in the morning. What did I do at that ungodly hour? Nothing much. Read the newspaper. Played the guitar for about an hour or so. Washed all the dishes from a frenzied cooking session from the day before. And then, I got right back to setting my mind back into cruise control. He...he...he...

So, once I was sailing the oceans and conjuring up images of dreams that once were, but have now all but disappeared, I decided that it was time to try and relive a few other moments from the past. And so, what resulted was in the following equation being created, resulting in the outcome that you will see.

Ladies and gentlemen, here's an extremely potent mix of ingredients. Please take note, they are:

A) The individual...one a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns...

B) The right mixIt's like they were meant to be together...

Put them together and you get...

...Coz I'm a soul man
So there you have it. That's me on a bar stool. That's me with the guitar and a pair of Shiva's shades on. Oh, and that's me with the black t-shirt and the black lungi. And that's I was enjoying. In fact, that's what I'm still enjoying. I'm just loving being here, not doing a whole lot. Just doing what I really like to do without worrying about too much else at the moment. You can afford to do it, so you do it. Plain and simple. I'm through with trying to figure out things that I have no control over. I'd much rather leave them be and just develop a more general sense of trying to get in touch with natural instincts. Those that we have lost since we became civilized. But that's not really it. At the end of the day, or the week, or the month, or the year, at the end of it all, it really is about feeling like doing what you're doing. When is the last time that I really just took some time out to figure out more of what was going on in my life. Or, at the very least, to try and get a better grasp of what was going on in my head. I needed to get in touch me, and I had to sort things out.

But all of this doesn't have to be so drab. No, of course not. Think about it, there is always thisReturn of The Soul Man lovely old time that I'm having. There is this particular time that I feel, that I am really just feeling easy and not trying to get too worked up with all the stuff, that I usually have to deal with in life. And I plan to have a whole lot of it. As much of it as I can get before having to return. But what am I saying. Here's that picture of me again, but with a bit of color enhancement. Why? I don't know. I thought you'd appreciate the subtle hues of the yellows, and browns, and the several shades of black. Well, what were you expecting me to say? And come to think of it, why am I defending the stuff that I write, on my blog, anyway? What's up with that kinda nonsense? Enough about that, though. Lest it ruin an otherwise perfectly cruise-worthy day.

Numb. But it's a good kind of numbSo, a weekend in Bangalore. Just taking some time out. Taking some time to be by myself. Taking it easy. Taking taking any old thing as easily as I've let myself take things of late. But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. This is what I look like. Correction. This is what I look like now. I'm happy. I'm really pleased with just being me. I think I take care of myself rather well, and that once in a while, you have to really connect with yourself. I can't blame myself for learning to, and eventually having to always back himself. Or maybe that's just an illusion. Maybe I'm just glad that for the moment, I couldn't be bothered with too much else, and that the last thing in the world that I am about to do, are well, not going to happen. And that's the hard truth, folks. The truth is, that at the end of the day, I guess I'd really let myself settle into doing nothing. I suppose this is another skill that I developed in school, one that I can't put down on my resume. He he he. No, no. That's not it at all. My life is like a sine curve. It hits the peaks and troughs with perfection every single time, in precisely the same manner. The story of my life. Finding myself in the grips of things I thought I'd dealt with; taking them head on, again and again, until I get it right. Ouch... I don't think I'm up for too much of that right now.

It's well into the evening, and I'm just biding my time, because I'm so damn good at it. And that's reason enough for me. That's all I need to do. And I think I've said more than enough. God bless you all. And I hope that you find what you are looking for, and that you have enough of it for yourselves, but more for everyone else.

Peace

A fine specimen, am I
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