I've been searching for love for the last decade and a half, ever since I first made out with a girl right up to wanting to marry my last girlfriend. Yikes! It sounds terrible when I classify these relationships so coldly and calculatedly. And rather thoughtlessly too, I might add. But I couldn't be more objectively accurate, I don't think. If you're reading this ladies, I apologize for trivializing what we shared. Oh, how I flatter myself by thinking they'd actually bother to stop by and read this. And oh, how unbecoming to title this post with a modified Spoonerism.
So, why the confession? I'd like to think of it more as a sort of realization. What I seek, I'd like to think is simple. To be an absolute ass of a hopeless romantic, I'd say that the endless moment that I dream of is just like in the picture; completing and being able to complete each other's hearts and souls so that ultimately there aren't two, but one. But, my problem is that I can't dream with my eyes open. I can't ignore the reality of relationships that I've seen and been in myself, to the extent that I'm painfully aware of, and openly welcome the fact that things will not be smooth. But, if we're both willing to be honest to and with each other, and to commit to moving beyond the present obstacle, I don't see why our relationship should fail.
But look who's talking, eh? My most recent tryst with a life of love ended in disaster, for both of us. I couldn't figure out how signing up for the willing-to-be-whipped list saw me get thrown the hell out. Eventually, I realized that I had gotten it all wrong. I thought I was doing the right thing by offering to take care of the things in life that were otherwise menial, just so that she could focus on her career and her path to greatness. But which one of you beautiful ladies wants to go out with a servant, right? :-(
But hey! Love is a many-splendored and strange phenomenon, the only thing I should be doing is learning what went wrong this time around, and keeping an open mind so that I can take these 'things' in my stride. Sounds easy when I say it like that. And you know what? It is.
For some time now, I've pondered the "What is love?" question, like that song from the early '90's, and even whether or not I know what it means. But I think I know. I still believe in it. All I can do is pick up the pieces, and start again. And that's all I promise to do. To the best of my ability, giving my 110 %. Here's to drawing my heart in the sky with my beloved by my side...one day.