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Thursday, December 18, 2008

One thumb at a time


I've made some pretty bad decisions in my life. No wait. I've made several, poorly thought out, with-often-horrendous-results kind of decisions in my life thus far. And the best part? It's far from over. I guess I have to be grateful for having the opportunity to make more bad choices and making a mess of it all. Not to worry, the ability to do this was inherent, so much so that it's almost a skill. True, there are times when I tend to think of this as a burden, but I've become comfortable with the ability to do this effortlessly.

It's almost like standing in front of a maddened crowd in Rome at the end of a duel, waiting for the Emperor to pronounce my fate. For those of you going "Huh?" this is where the part about the two thumbs in the picture comes in. When I do something life-threateningly daft, I feel like I'm in the Colosseum, head hung low, waiting for the "thumbs down" to put an end to it all. But, it's usually the opposite. "Go ahead you foolish gladiator," I hear the multitudes to say to me, "Entertain us with your unwavering stupidity."

And so, I get another shot at making a bigger idiot of myself. What's with that, eh? I mean, why the sick sense of humor? Haven't I done enough to warrant a "Finish Him," Mortal Kombat sort of death sentence? Why should I entertain you with my infinitely lacking intelligence and another day in the Sun? What's in it for me?

I guess what really gets to me is the fact that I end up picking myself up off the ground only to do a swan dive face-plant into a puddle full of muck all over again. Maybe if I was five years old, I wouldn't have minded so much. But I'm not. And it's getting really old really fast. So, give me the "thumbs down." Put me out of my misery. Come on!
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