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Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Look Ma. No feet?

This is how I feel I've been living my life. Can't seem to get it right. Can't seem to identify good advice from bad. Can't seem to differentiate between people who want to help me and those who use me. I just don't seem to have things anywhere near figured out. Not even within a mile from anything close to approaching figured out. And that really hurts.

Can't say that life hasn't taught me much because I seem to have ignored all the lessons. Or, another way of saying that is, I think I've interpreted the lessons in my own special way. That hasn't helped. Then, there's the issue of trying to force things down a certain path. And, it gives me a headache the number of times I've been bullish in situations that have required tact and finesse. Or vice versa, the times when I've had to assert myself but I ended up being too polite and therefore went unnoticed. Painfully incongruous existence, let me tell you.

All in all, a seeming lack of ability to make sense of when to do what, simply because there seems to be a lack of sensibility. That's why this picture is apt when it comes to describing the state of my life. Maybe, hopefully, the rubber boot over my head will help cut off the circulation to my brain and suffocate me out of my idiotic and fumbling existence.

"Here lies Rohin Kallat. Not flawed by his own design, but designed as a flaw, nonetheless."

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